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The woman said that her husband now takes care of all the financial affairs, while she takes care of their home.
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A woman shared on Reddit that despite being together for nine years, her husband keeps his finances private, and they never had any serious discussion about money before getting married. In a post on Reddit’s r/AITA forum (which has since been deleted), the woman shared her frustration and said that her husband had always been private about his finances — something one assumes would change once marriage was brought up — and that he now handles all of the couple’s finances, while she takes care of their home.
“While we’ve been together we’ve slowly transitioned into working a part-time job and he pays all the bills, which I’m so grateful for and do my best to show my appreciation as much as I can,” she wrote. “I also take care of all the homework and pay for the groceries about half the time.”
She continued: “It seems that we have settled on this arrangement without any problems on either side.” “He never revealed how much money he made annually or gave me any idea of his finances.”
This setup works well for both of them, she explained, and her husband has never revealed his annual salary or provided any detailed insight into his financial situation. However, she is confident that he has no debts for reasons she cannot reveal. She also noted that he had a good credit score and no known gambling debts.
The situation took a turn when the woman received a job offer with a six-figure salary. Her husband advised against it, citing their travel plans as the reason. In addition, he bought their new house without her knowledge, and presented it as a surprise. While she loved the house, she was concerned about not being included in such an important decision.
“He also bought our new house without me being present or even knowing he had bought it, saying it was a surprise,” she wrote. “I’ve toured it before and really liked it, so it wasn’t a problem, it’s just the fact that I wasn’t involved in that decision-making process.”
As they plan their future, women want to have a better idea of their financial situation. While she pays her own expenses with her job’s money, if they had a child, she would likely cut back on her hours.
“He says I can assume from our lifestyle and cars that we’re doing well. Our house is worth seven figures and our cars are about six figures,” she wrote. “I said I understand that, but I feel like if I were to have a child with you and become more dependent, I would totally understand that. He says it’s not important and I’ll tell people.”
The woman emphasized that she is grateful for the life her husband provides, but does not want to become a parent without understanding the full scope of the situation.
Netizens criticize the pair
People in the comments section wondered why the topic of finances was never brought up before marriage, noting that it should have been the first topic of conversation.
“I bring this up to everyone who’s getting married. You’re stupid if you don’t have an in-depth conversation about finances with complete transparency before you get married,” one person commented.
Another person wrote: “He bought the house before the marriage so if you get divorced he will consider it a pre-nuptial asset and you will have no rights to it. He is intentionally hiding a lot and if you want to stay with him you have to be independent and get your money straight because he won’t take care of you.”
28 December 2025 at 10:42 PM IST
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