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A dating coach’s viral post about a 40-year-old man rejecting marriage because of her tattoo and drinking habits has sparked a heated debate online.
A conversation between a dating coach and a 40-year-old client has gone viral on social media (Image-Instagram/@oendrila.kapoor)
A viral social media post by matchmaker and dating coach Oendrila Kapoor has divided the internet after she revealed why a 40-year-old client rejected a potential marriage match.
According to Kapoor, the man dismissed the woman based on her tattoos, drinking habits, and independent lifestyle, sparking a broader conversation about governance and consent in arranged marriages.
Kapoor, founder of The Date Crew, narrated the incident in a video that has since received huge attention on social media. According to her, the man, who comes from a merchant family and has never been married, explained that he could not imagine being with a woman who has permanent tattoos and drinks alcohol.
“He is 40 years old, comes from a business family and has never been married,” Kapoor said in the video. Recalling their conversation, she explained that when she asked him why he turned down a recent match, he cited the woman’s tattooing and drinking habits as deal-breakers.
When Kapoor asked for clarification, the man reportedly pointed out that these traits reflect a person’s personality and indicate the type of family he would run. She responded by pointing out that the woman in question was a 36-year-old marketing head at a major company and only had one tattoo on her wrist.
But the conversation didn’t end there. The agent also considered the fact that the woman lived independently in Mumbai, away from her family, as a “red flag,” Kapoor said. According to him, women who move away from their families and gain freedom in big cities may lead lifestyles that are difficult to evaluate.
Kapoor challenged this notion internally, pointing out that the woman was a successful professional living alone in one of India’s most expensive cities. I viewed this independence as empowering rather than a source of anxiety. However, the man stressed that a “good woman” would never choose to live away from her family.
The dating coach also noted that the client described himself as educated, financially stable, and from a respectable family, but expressed frustration that these qualities did not seem enough to attract women. Kapoor said she told him that respect is equally important in relationships and that women also want to feel appreciated.
Reflecting on the conversation, Kapoor admitted she remained conflicted about whether she should directly challenge his views.
She noted that deeply held beliefs developed over decades were unlikely to change during a single discussion and asked her followers whether she had done the right thing by remaining silent or whether she should have countered his point of view.
In the commentary accompanying the video, Kapoor said that the issue was not just the man’s preferences, but the assumptions he attached to certain characteristics.
She writes that many people form judgments about potential partners even before meeting them, creating narratives based on superficial details like tattoos, profession, or place of residence.
“The tattoo becomes the problem. The city becomes the problem. The job becomes the problem. When in reality the problem is often the judgment,” she wrote, emphasizing that respect should not be limited only to the future spouse, but should extend to all individuals regardless of personal preferences.
The post quickly attracted thousands of views and sparked a lively discussion in the comments section, with users expressing a wide range of opinions.
“I hope guys like this never find me because I know I’ll be his worst nightmare come true 😅🙈🙈,” one user wrote humorously.
Another commenter felt Kapoor should have spoken up, saying: “Yes, one conversation with you won’t change 40 years of conditioning but calling out these people is also important, why should they just make others uncomfortable.”
A third user gave a balanced view, commenting, “You definitely shouldn’t have challenged him just because he’s your client but you should have told him that his expectations won’t be met because they’re not valid. Also if he wants to be respected he will have to change his mentality with time because women change and adapt to the current era. If he doesn’t do that he may never find anyone.”
Not everyone agreed with Kapoor’s position. One user questioned her approach, writing: “Well, why don’t you do your job i.e. ‘matchmaking’ instead of judging people for having a non-smoking or non-drinking girl/guy in their preferences?”
Likewise, another commenter defended the client, saying, “If you can’t find that right woman for him, just tell him. Why paint him as evil just because he doesn’t want that kind of woman. Brother, he can easily find a woman who looks like the person he loves. If you can’t find that, just say so. You’re judging him for no reason. He didn’t like what he said to you.”
Others took a lighter tone. One user joked: “Man… I want a woman with tattoos who will drink with me 😂😂😂😂.”
Another person shared their personal experience, writing: “I’ve faced rejection for the exact same reason, and I’ve faced rejection for my food choices too. Will I judge and disparage women for the same reason?”
Meanwhile, one commenter strongly supported Kapoor’s decision not to share further, saying: “These guys will never change and will never understand even if you try to convey anything, so you handled it perfectly by not saying anything and saving your energy 💗.”
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